Skin The Rose
Blood tinges
A point of contact
My form of contact
Singes social contract
Needs happily satiated but
When something within
Rouses my skin
I cannot ignore
The want for more
Frigid rose
You have no petals
You have no thorns
Idle eyes reveal
Withering ideas
Your time round up
Now unknown hands
Will dictate
Where to plant
Frigid rose
You have no petals
You have no thorns
Comment links:
Posted Jun 23, 2022, 4:40 AM UTC
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I love your vocabulary, it's very dark and soulful. Your phrasing and the way you structure the poem is also very meaningful. The only criticism I have is that your rhyming is a little all over the place and it feels a little abrupt in spots.
Love the title and your imagination throughout the poem really captures every emotion you were trying to portray, good job :)
First off, I love the title of this piece.
There's a sense of loneliness? A feeling of, If I withdraw, things will become better; I will acquire more. Which is a bit of an oxymoron, but I understand and appreciate that.
In terms of structure, it's pretty straightforward. I think every other line or so can use a bit of punctuation, but that really isn't a huge deal given its heaviness.