Take pictures of your pregnant wife
Our first was born at 24 weeks and it’s a miracle he’s next to me on the couch right now watching tv. Now we are on our second boy around 18 weeks and yesterday our pregnancy announcement photographer canceled. No big deal we can just reschedule but wife was crying hard. I asked what was wrong and will probably never forget this.
She said we didn’t get any pictures of her last pregnancy since he came so early. If he didn’t make it, it would be like he never existed. She is afraid of this happening with the next one and this weighs heavy on us.
She has been going through a lot this second pregnancy, months of bleeding, weekly shots, preventive surgery and heaviest of all, the anxiety that this will happen again.
Thought we lost him last night when some tissue came through with the bleeding but an all nighter in the hospital confirmed he’s okay. I don’t know how much more she can take of this. I’m tired, she’s tired and we just need to make it to November.
Needed to vent this. She is such a strong person and makes some strong babies.
I don’t really know what advise I need but I could really use some ideas to get through these next months. How did you pass the time during a complicated pregnancy so the anxiety didn’t eat you up?
Posted Jun 25, 2022, 3:35 PM UTC · edited
We had a misdiagnosed miscarriage with our first and then an actual miscarriage and then a pregnancy that ended up with two weeks on hospital bed rest with our second.
Complicated pregnancies and pregnancies that don't work out are common, and knowing that helped me a lot because I could let go of thinking I or my wife was in control of the outcome. We could do what we could do, but the outcome ultimately wasn't in our hands. Furthermore I see a pregnancy as very fragile and precious. If everyone comes out alive that is enough. So I would focus on each day and not worry or think to hard about how things would be weeks or months down the road.
So yes it is challenging but take one step at a time and you will get through it faster than you can imagine.
Pregnancies really are fragile. I dont even know why im replying here exactly, i guess browsing reddit i just came across this and felt a need to get things off my chest. Just over night my wife passed a huge blood clot (12 weeks pregnant) and we spent the whole morning in the ER. We thought the clot was actually the baby, based on how it looked, but they did an ultrasound in the ER and sure enough there was the baby. Moving around and all.
It was bittersweet. I was thrilled to see our baby in there but immediately saddened that most likely things will not go further. She was sent home and ordered to stay in bed until she miscarries, or until she is able to get into the office to be checked out. Either way the doctor did not sound like things would end well, since it was a fairly severe placental abruption. If we make it through this, then it raises the question how could that have affected the baby long-term? Very, very difficult decisions ahead of us.
My wife has had 3 successful pregnancies so far (our 2 boys and 1 surrogacy) and i guess i just always thought “it wont happen to us” or “if it does, no big deal, its just the way nature works.” But damn, it hurts. I heard that baby’s heart beating. I saw that baby move. We just had genetic bloodwork done friday, so we will be finding out if its a boy or girl too, quite possibly after its already passed.
Im rambling. I just needed to get it out someplace. Thanks.
Get a second opinion from her OB-GYN as soon a you can. We were diagnosed with a miscarriage at an emergency room with our first and it turned out they had no idea what they we’re talking about because it is outside their specialty. And now we have a potty training very active 3 year old. It still might be bad news but I wouldn’t throw in the towel based on a ER doctors say so especially if the baby is seen alive. Hugs!
Thanks! We will be having a follow up today. Fingers crossed!
How did it go?