Amazing work. The poem perfectly captures insecurity about one's relationship, even if it's a pretty short one. This kind of repetition with a variation in the last stanza gives a lot of effect.

You clearly have a good ear for rhyme, and the poem keeps a very neat structure throughout! 

I think the idea of talking about the fleeting nature of love and romance is such a rich source to draw from, and there's some ideas I like here. "The rare glare she gave/ Our pinky promise knot." as an example. Having said that, I do think the "she loves me, she loves me not" is quite cliched and there isn't really too much added here that makes it particularly novel. Personally, I think you can take that first line "plucking petals" and some of the imagery here, and make it into something a little more unique.

I love a good poem that has rhyme! I would love to see this poem expanded, there is more here. I want to see how this story continues and how it ends. 

The night I stayed over,  
We shared all our thoughts.

This line speaks to true depth when communicating with someone close. The loss is not just physical but spiritual, and mental. Being seen and heard is the warmth of a fire for the soul. 

The shot at the end, but I have not forgot: i'll take a turn at this that perhaps others will not, it take courage to remember the good, to see the beauty. Not forgetting, depends on what was retained. 

Love the clean presentation of this poem too.

For sure! Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you 🤝

Wow, what a relevant time in my personal life to have come across this poem and read it. Really enjoyed this one, thanks for sharing!


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I really like the repetition in this. I think if it was spread out in a few more verses it would hit especially well. But it does a great job of resembling the cycle of overthinking and reassuring we tell ourselves. Thank you for sharing :)

I like the way the poem repeated itself! as if he was trying to echo his words seldomly while hoping for it will work, like praying. Since the poem started with nature, he was more likely to praing for the nature he invoked to display her afterimage--*The rare glare she gave our pinky promise knot* which I assumed that he could effortlessly depict himeself a picture of her upon any surrounding shape, since it's *promising*

For the line *We shared all our thoughts,* he meant that they had already done that, sharing; and thus he was assuming whether she still or no longer love him, but the *glare* is not to be considered in one-sided--just like the parts of poem that he mentioned in pairs--the glare that she was really angry of him, of the doubful glare full with her complex emotion: she loves him, she love him not.

*But I have not forgot* was indeed a kick in his head.

I personally love your plucking petals! That was brilliant way to start a poem!

I like the contrast between the speaker and "she" and how it flips.

Plucking petals.

She loves me,

She love me not,

Soon she will forget,

Soon I will have forgot.

The rare glare she gave-

Our pinky promise knot.

Soon she will forget,

Soon I will have forgot,

The night I stayed over,

We shared all our thoughts.

Soon she will forget,

But I have not forgot.



https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vl2ek0/christmas_at_the_home_v2/idsoovy/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vks0cn/the_grace_and_beauty_of_moonwalking/idsowrk/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

Plucking Petals