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Thank you for sharing this poem!

First off, I liked that you clearly put in a lot of effort in incorporating a wide variety of different images in your poem.

The rhyme scheme you use is inconsistent throughout the poem, which makes it awkward to read. The piece goes from not rhyming, to AABB, to ABAB, then back to AABB. I don't often write with rhyme so I can't make a specific recommendation there, but hopefully someone else can. In addition, you restate the same thoughts repeatedly, which makes reading this poem a bit dull. Trust your reader to get it on the first time. By doing this, you can heavily condense your poem and pack more punch in significantly fewer lines.

The piece also jumps from image to image without letting them sit, which I found almost disorienting, which I do not believe was your intent. You may want to consider picking a few images that are particularly impactful and reconstructing your poem around them, getting them to connect in ways that make sense logically

sun & moon