Things that must be said. I know you read this sub. I love you.

I have never felt so simultaneously shitty and happy.

5 months ago I met a girl. Let's call her July. July and I hit it off well from the start. I liked her from the first time we had dinner, and then sat and listened to Damien Rice together. We watched a movie together the next time we saw each other. Fight Club. We became closer and closer as time went on. Of course, nothing could happen because you had a girlfriend back home. Until that one night after a few hours of drinking. Then, we repeated everything we'd gone through earlier- setting boundaries, only to break them. 3 times that happened. Then the last two months of school, we were closer than ever. Every night, we spent together. Every secret I had, I shared with you. Even the one that haunts me to this day. You sat there and hugged me while I cried in the stairs. We found paradise and we did it together.

But still. I could never be sure of it. Sure of us. Something always held me back. I'm so sorry. I told you this summer would be time apart and then you and I would end up together once college started back up again. I didn't see her coming. I fell in love with a girl, and I'm happier than I have been in my whole life.

A weird part of me thought you'd be happy for me.

I'm so sorry. I love you. You're one of my best friends. I'll always care about you.