[3021] Starved Vines, part 1 (revised)

Thank you to everyone who commented on the first version of this story. After some great feedback, I deleted most of the first chapter, and started the story in the "second" chapter.

This is the first half of a short story that will probably be 6000-7000 words.

Please tell me what you honestly think, and don't sugar-coat it. I don't mind harsh criticism at all. I will read every single comment here and on the gdoc.

Things I'd find especially helpful (don't feel obligated to answer all of these):

• Did you like the humor or not?
• Is the balance of action-to-exposition appropriate?
• How is the pace of the story? Too fast / too slow?
• Are any sentences difficult to understand because of their structure?
• Does the dialogue seem natural and believable?
• Are there any specific words or phrases that I overuse?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MAuiaiYGdsshd7xGXF7KlrtQxHPFOQ6cYw6-RQqnzlA/edit?usp=sharing

My critiques:

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