departure

Poem

white hair—

    like dandelion seeds,

falls into another life

    to love again.

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Posted Jul 6, 2022, 3:31 AM UTC

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I don’t really know what to take away from this. I like it because I share some white hair in common with it but there’s just not enough substance here for me to really draw anything from it. I mean I get it, maybe one love is ending and OP is looking forward to falling in love again??

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although i can't exactly interpret it, i really like the visualisation shown by your poem, i love the analogy. i guess it wasn't your intention to make the reader understand the poems true gist, but this way i can create my own meaning. nice work!

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Pinsandweedles•

Love the simplicity. The other comments seems to have trouble parsing the meaning— for me I thought the poem was about a rebirth/reincarnation or possibly just finding solace in ones progeny. Overall I thought it was an elegant execution of the message.
My only comment is a tiny nitpick. Cut the s from “seeds” you’re speaking generally about singular concepts. White hair, not white hairs, by the same logic dandelion seed not seeds. Alternatively you can do it the other way but I don’t like that option as much personally. It’d be white hairs like dandelion seeds fall …. Well done!

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