[1111] Beyond The Mirror, Chapter 1

NSFWFantasy

So, I just wanted to say. Yeah, as a writer, I suck, but I hope to suck less someday ya know?

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Anyway, the main questions I have are the following.

  1. Is the text legible?
  2. can you understand what happens in the story?
  3. Does the story interest you?
  4. Is there any information, I could add that would enhance the story?
  5. What flaws are there and how can they be corrected?
  6. Any other random things you noticed about the story. General observations, feelings, believability, grammar issues etc. Feel free to just write anything that comes to your mind basically.

P.S. I struggle with verb tense and POV and grammar and uh pretty much everything lol. I need so much help haha. I did try to keep the issues corrected as best as I could but, there's probably something wrong there somewhere.

P.S.S. I'm fine with line edits, and have set the document to comment only which I think allows them. However, if it doesn't let me know cause this is the first time I've actually used google docs for collaboration so. :/

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e7puF_uf9_DEffRWoVH6tiauSZ9VyUGzo6d3nX6bofg/edit?usp=sharing

Also, here's the critique

[1281]

Posted Jul 10, 2022, 3:59 AM UTC

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