Oof! 

>I pulled away, then said, “We need to talk.”

Love this ending. She just finished feeling you she's glad you're back and there you go again. You did a great job painting a picture here. I could see the scene in my head of two lovers right after the act. One focused on her love and the other on his vice. But are you her lover or her vice? Great piece. Thank you for sharing.

I'm very into your rhyme scheme you have going for this. Ending with a couplet is always amazing.  I liked how you described the scene, it made it feel so familiar without it being the same experiences that I have had.

You told the story so beautifully. I could feel myself there. And the ending leaves me wanting more! ♥️

the ending is perfect. it really makes the whole poem! i’m gonna keep that in mind when writing in the future because that was very impactful.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Burnt Out