Thank you so much that means a lot to me I haven’t wrote a poem since the sixth grade! I’ll keep your tips in mind thank you!

Hi! First of all, I like the length of this piece. I think it is exactly long enough to get across the complete message without dragging on and risking adding too much. I as a reader was able to understand and access the writing completely and then digest it without feeling overwhelmed or overworked.

My only criticism would be the structure of the work. I understand the usage of Capitals to separate and give brevity to each thought without physically separating sentences or ideas, but in my own head it read sort of choppy. The theming of the piece makes me think of a sort of long-run on rant, an individual making excuses to themselves in a breathless speech fighting their own urge to criticize their partner. So, to me, I feel like the capitals interrupt that desperate tone by adding too much inflection to each separate piece instead of creating a flow. That being said, great work!

thank you so much and thank you for the feedback :)

Brilliant work. Short and powerful, like all the greatest poems are. I especially love it cause I relate to it a lot. The simplicity is beautiful and it's easy to understand even if you haven't ever felt it yourself. I would say though, that it could've been framed better but still, awesome work.

It's a great short poem, simple message, I think it's very effective at getting precisely the point across in as few lines as possible. It's very well constructed, and the title line is very interesting, and the theme brings all sorts of questions out about dependency, love and the nature of perfection. All in all, fantastic work!

Loving someone who is physically present, but he’s unavailable.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

He’s perfect when he’s with me
He’s perfect when I don’t have to remind him to respond to me
He’s perfect when he’s not too busy with his friends 
Or playing games 
Or too tired to talk 
Or getting distracted 
But he’s perfect when he’s with me 



https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w1lqzw/sober/igm0k6g/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w1h9pe/memorial_to_the_war_dead_animals/igm0dmi/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3