Sisyphus

Poem

Maybe I’m the ocean, not a wave

rolling, rolling, rolling in again.

And perhaps vanquishing monsters

has always been as simple as turning the page.

What if climbing to the mountaintop

makes you nothing but colder?

And diving deep to the bottom of the sea

is just another way of finding loss?

Half the stars in the sky

are already long dead.

Fossils of future centuries

will be plastic bags.

However far I might see

the universe is farther—

and however fast the worlds spins

time repeats in moments

so you can always live again.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w23b4r/the_universe_and_your_conclusion/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w23fk9/conveniently_you_had_never_told_me_your/igoo31w/

eta formatting and broken permalinks... I'm telling you this is what I get for posting to reddit from desktop

Posted Jul 21, 2022, 1:04 AM UTC

1415

damn. that vanquishing monsters line is really good. i wish i’d wrote it lol. i get themes of questioning “what’s worth?” almost but in the sense of being aware of the grand scheme of things? someone else said nihilism, and i agree, but i think it’s almost positive; like you’re taking it as a lesson. good stuff all around :)

4
awesomemonica7OP•

Thank you! I wrote that line years ago and have been trying to find a poem to house it ever since—since the majority of responses I've gotten here have mentioned the nature imagery resonating more I'm not sure if it's this poem anymore...

That's exactly what I was going for, positive nihilism. Nihilism but it's uplifting?

Thank you for your response!

2
MasterHaider•

First Impressions:

I feel like your poem has nihilistic overtones, and you -the writer- is fascinated with the universe and its greatness. I enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you for sharing.

Text Analysis:

This poem falls under the category of romantic poetry. The language and structure of this poem fit the narrative perfectly. The writer expresses their worldview through their work with ease, indicating their innate writing ability. The poem starts with the writer realizing that he is the wave and not the ocean; this is a metaphor for the writer's realization that life does not revolve around them; instead, they revolve around life. The writer questions the shallowness of acts that seem like accomplishments, like climbing a mountain or diving deep into the waters; this alludes to the philosophical perspective of the writer and how they see life as an incubator for pain. The writer expresses how there is beauty in dead things by mentioning the stars in the sky and how the future will be terrible for the coming generations as they have plastic bags as fossils. The writer concludes their poem by again stating they are insignificant against this endless universe.

3
CrazyLucky27•

I really like how you take the classic idea that time repeats itself and we are all part of the "larger picture". I think you have a good start to something great that delves deeper into a philosophical commentary. I would love to see where this goes if you decided to rework some of it. Either way - kudos to you!

3
clay-t0n•

To start off simply : I like this poem a lot.

It's probably personal, but I love when poets use nature in their poems, because nature opens the possibilities to deliver the final message in a beautiful abstract way.

The poem also reminds me of one of the main teachings of Daoism, which is ''live with the flow''. Someone already mentionned, and I agree with it, that this poem is giving a nihilistic view on life.

One thing I'd like to note is the progression from this nihilistic ''maybe nothing matters'' to this :

However far I might see

the universe is farther—

and however fast the worlds spins

time repeats in moments

so you can always live again.

We go from ''everything we're doing is useless'' to ''there's always something we can do, you have time''.

These last verses give me a sense of comfort and of hope, contrasting with the first part of the poem and giving a sort of solution to the lack of meaning we find in doing some things.

It's not random, it's smooth and the flow is on point.

3
awesomemonica7OP•

There's a Kurzgesagt video I was thinking of while I wrote that stanza, which really puts into perspective the moment in history we're living through in a way that's kind of deafening and terrifying, but also really uplifting. I'm glad I was able to translate some of that feeling.

Thank you for your response!

1
markstarhaven•

Hello.

I enjoyed the references to the physical world, going from depths of ocean to the distant stars and the universe as a whole. It gives a way for me as a reader to be with the narrator, next to them, seeing what they see and feeling what they feel, which to me is important as I can immerse myself into the poem more intimately. The sentiment about futility/purpose is also portrayed well without feeling forced, and I think that's cool to do in such a relatively short poem. I have a small struggle with the use of "you" because this seems like a poem about a singular character, but the addition of "you" unintentionally introduces another character that just disappears. It's a small thing but it did bring me out of the immersive experience just a bit.

Thanks for sharing!

2
awesomemonica7OP•

Hmmm interesting. Based on that, would you change the last line to smth like "so I can always live again"? Or something else? Idk having an "I" there feels a bit too self-serving in the context of this poem to me...

Thank you for your response!

1
markstarhaven•

Oh, I understand what you mean by self-serving. I think it just depends on your intent and how you view the characters in this poem. Maybe one way to console it is to change the character to We/Us? It adds some grandiose to an already grand idea. Hope this helps!

1
Pseudo-Dionigi•

This reminds me of a quote attributed to Heraclitus:

"Κόσμον τονδε, τον αυτόν απάντων, ούτε τις θεών ούτε ανθρώπων εποίησεν, αλλ' ην αεί και έστιν και έστε πύρ αείζωον, απτόμενον μέτρα και απασβεννύμενον μέτρα ."

[the accentuation is not perfect because of the keyboard, but this will do]

Which means:

"This clarity, which is the same for all, has not been made by any God or man, but it always has been, it is now, and it will always be an ever-living fire, that lits and peters out according to measure."

This is very specific and it shouldn't be quoted out of the context of his predicaments, or else it could appear as an extravagant and godless description of the universe. Which it isn't. What's on point is the depiction of the universe as an endless renovation of opposites, that is the same as fire.

2
awesomemonica7OP•

Eh, allude to one Greek figure, allude to another ig 😂

Thank you for your response!

1
Pseudo-Dionigi•

Anytime😂

1
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1
Reggay_shark•

This is a lovely poem, thanks for sharing! I love the imagery in the poem, really brings out what the poet is trying to express. Although I feel that imagery like the oceans and the stars and the sea are quite unimaginable, I prefer imagery with simpler things around me that I can see/hear/feel/smell in my imagination.

At least to me, it feels like the poem is touching on many concepts, more than I can assimilate. It talks about the triviality of the individual in the face of the grander scheme of things, how the things we do are useless and monotonous and don't make sense and finally, it says that we always have the time to do more. There's a hint of optimism and hopefulness at the end, and the poem seems to suggest that you can keep doing things; there's always time; doesn't matter if it makes any sense. Maybe there's a unifying big picture/theme in the poem that I seem to be missing. But I love the concept/ idea in this poem! I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing :)

1

Perfection. Beautiful thoughts. Wisdom. The all-seeing eye. Knowing. Peace. Love. :):)

0