I never thought about it in that way, but you put it so well regarding the *balance between simplicity and impact*. Looking back, that's precisely what a lot of good poems achieve. And I should keep it in mind when writing going forward. Thank you.

Thank you so much for the kind words, and I'm glad it worked(for you at least) 

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again. 

&#x200B;

Best

I really enjoyed this poem! You've balanced simplicity and impact very well, which to me made the experience of reading it cinematic. Even from the beginning the noise and clatter of a rocket launch filled in only to be quieted and slowed down by the image of the high-up, graceful dance. It ethereally floats from one scene to the next and finishes in a way that's gentle and leaves a feeling of peace. Well done, and thank you for sharing it!

"Where feelings sink and souls float"
"Constellation of fruit flies"

Great lines! I really enjoyed your peom.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

  

The countdown has begun 

Three, two, one…

Lift off, straight up towards

The quiet gap

Where feelings sink and souls float

Where I slow dance with the moon 

In a constellation of fruit flies

Weightless, useless

If I were to cease 

I will return, next time 

it rains 

For I am not a dusty skeleton 

I'm the grey cloud from 

your dreams

&amp;#x200B;

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&amp;#x200B;

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Cease(working title...)