a poem about anxiety

nimezidiwa

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friend, i want you to know

a mere conviction i hold

for when i’m heard and told

“you’re not the one i’ve known”

when every chance given was blown

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friend, i want you to see

every instance i try to speak

i’m faced with the limits of mortality

as any spoken word i seek

would simply crumble my sanity

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friend, i want you to learn

the confine i’m in disguised as concern

as it’s mask dissipates, i can only yearn

and now every song i’ve ever heard

is playing at the same time, it’s absurd

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friend, would you look around?

i’m too busy getting off the ground

just to get knocked back down

i can feel my lead escaping my bounds

so i’ll stay here and buckle down

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friend, are you as drained as me?

wish i had the energy to leave

change my name, fly overseas

though i know even then, all i’ll be

is the remains of what i’ve been

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friend, please get back up

let me stay here and rot

i’ll watch the fish with their belly up

this was all the doing of my mind

a perfectly orchestrated buildup

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i’ll stare into outer space

as i watch you leave, my friend

the credits start to roll, i’m afraid

this is only the beginning of the end

i’ll ask the stars to bend, to lend

a comforting hand to apprehend

what’s left within the embers of my head

and i’ll call out to you, my friend!

when i begin to comprehend my core intent

maybe then, i’ll mend the ever-abiding dents

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until then, my friend

i’ll see you on the other side.

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