Exactly, I'm glad you get it. And I truly think there is someone out there for each and every one of us. And one will find the other, no matter how long it takes or how long the journey is

I like this, for me it is a sense that we have so many paths, possibilities but one only one life to live maybe one true love, we will find it. We all want  to be found, right.

Mhm yes I could. But love is vague in a sense that you don't always know what you are looking for

This looks a lot like Dante's Divine comedy, in the inferno part, where he is lost without faith. The poem is beautiful and the only thing I'd like to add, is more of the disparity between being lost and finding your way.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Hi, I really like your commentary. I’d appreciate it if you shared your thoughts on a poem I’ve just posted.


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w96rnf/fixing_the_unbroken/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thank you for your advice. I agree, I definitely could have tried to use more poetic devices. And yes, I did only barely talk about the topic of love. But I only wanted to focus on how we all love someone and want to be loved back by that person and will eventually find that love we are all looking for.

Also, this is pretty vague in the poem. But stanza 2 and 4 and connected, where in stanza 2 the speaker is the one trying to find love and in stanza 4 the speaker is the one waiting to be loved back(or in the context of the poem, to be found by the speaker in stanza 2 who is looking for love). This is the same with stanza 3 and 5.

And I'd really appreciate it if you reread the poem with that in mind🙏

Thank you for posting.    


    Quickie Feedback    


- What I like: the content/subject is very clear in this. Speaker gives their thoughts on love. Simple and easy. The first stanza sounds like an aphorism that's been passed down for centuries. 

- Outside of above, the poem starts to meander and lose focus by the fourth stanza. The "field" section feels tacked on and not as substantial as previous.  It starts to go more into fake deep territory.

- From a whole, this is a poem full of abstractions inside abstraction. There's no concreteness outside of plain imagery (field, womb, forest) and the occasional directional language. There's not much to speak of in terms of devices used (rhyme, rhythm, etc.)    

- I think love is always a good topic to explore, but this barely scratches the surface of a well rooted concept. Dig deeper. 



Again, thank you for posting.

Wow this is something else. I really love how the thought on love is the subject it’s so simple yet so beautiful if that makes sense. Even though I’m young and don’t know what “love” is I feel like I can relate somehow.

Thank you, I actually used the dots because reddit kept changing the format when I posted it, but thanks😅

wonderful poem. i love how you used the little dots to space things out, it’s very unique

I wrote it as it came to mind over a period of 3 days. And thank you for the praise. I'm really glad you noticed the connection between the stanzas. There's a connection between 2 and 4 and also 3 and 5 where the former is finding and the latter is being found

Beautiful poem! I love any poems and quotes that references “To love and be loved” 

I appreciate how stanzas 2-5 references a metaphorical location to “be found”

Curious, how long did it take you to draft this?

I love this poem - not just because it's a love poem. I like how the first and second stanzas, blend well.

That's a good piece you have written. Tells a lot about what your actually desire. Actually, we people get so tired of finding ourselves in others that we don't realise we are just losing ourselves. And at the end, like every heart, yours is also waiting to be found. I hope you do.

Thank you, you can actually interpret the each Stanza after the first as a different speaker. And the last Stanza sums it all up as one speaker.

I am incredibly impressed by the perspective that the poem invites readers to consider. I’m particular fond of the repetition of ‘I am’ in the first line of most stanzas. Well written

Love is such a potent concept, no matter how many times you return to that well there's always more to be drawn from it. I like your depiction of it quite a lot. I'm not sure how the rhythm sounds in your mind but to me it has a nice deliberate pace that suits the writing really well, causing the reader to rest on the harder hitting lines.

Great! It is your art, and your decision 😊. By objective application, I mean something which can be applied to all, like a field, the womb or the forest… these are things which most people can relate to and understand, and feel. Kudos.

I really appreciate your advice, but unfortunately I am not going to change this poem. It has a lot of personal value😅 as it is. But I will take what you said into consideration when writing in the future. I don't understand what you mean by ending off with an objective application, but I'll research that more. And I wrote the last line to sum up how the speaker(s) feel, which is also shown at the last line of every Stanza except the first.

Before anything else, I like the poem. You went and wrote yourself on the topic which is so deep-rooted in us, it might as well be DNA; love. Someone mentioned that the poem is too abstract as a critique, personally speaking however, it is the tangible things for me in a poem that are beautiful, point being, these things can be understood and felt by all. Now, love, it is a general concept, everyone knows it, but interprets it differently. Poetry, is exceptionally personal, but poetry in a larger, macrocosmic sense is beauty perceivable by all, the personal poet has his beauty, and the macrocosmic one has his own. Love is a macrocosmic concept, your poem is macrocosmic, that is the beauty of it. The only way I’d ‘try’ and improve it (though I wouldn’t, that’s your job), would be to start with a personal subject, and end with an objective application. An example, 
“Sheltered by her shadow, Mama’s hands flamed in the sun 
burning the self in service to the beloved;
I suppose that is love

To love is to be lost. 

But to love 

and to be loved back, 

is to be found.

•

I am in a forest. 

A footpath in every direction. 

To love is to travel all paths, 

trying to find the right one. 

•

I am in a womb. 

With so many lives to live. 

To love is to live each life, 

trying to find the right one.

•

I am in a field. 

I see a path with an arrow, 

pointing at me. 

I want to be found. 

•

I am living a life. 

Lost in a pitch black future, 

with a dim arrow pointing at me. 

I want to be found.

•

I am lost, 

find me.

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w8gfyq/a_poem_called_today/ihqq27y?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w7kwpj/did_i_hurt_you/ihqqear?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3)

To Love and Be Loved