Thanks I really appreciate it! I haven't written a poem in almost a year, so it's good to get some feedback to help me get back into the swing of it

for example, when reading "what ways they might wind" there is a slight pause after "ways" (a silent upbeat). compare two alternatives: "what ways that they might wind" or "what ways they might unwind"

Hi, thanks for your feedback! The rhythm is definitely something I feel like can be cleaned up. Do you have any specific examples that you found most jarring and why?

the theme and the story touched my heart, I enjoyed the metaphor and the ambiguity because the word "friendship" only occurs in the title. I feel that the words are poetically chosen and strongly evocative. the structure is tight, and for me it implied a rhythm that didn't come through in my reading, which for me detracted from the beauty of the verse, I felt an awkwardness, like indecision between lyricism and rhyme.

Thanks for the kind words and feedback :)

That fourth stanza is 🤌🤌🤌 only note I might suggest is dropping the comma after linked in the second stanza…seems to flow a little better without the pause (in my opinion at least)

Excellent work :)


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Friendship Bracelet