A Love so Violent

DISCLAIMER: This poem is not intended to justify abuse or blame the victim, it is meant to dive into the mindset of a victim to see what they may be going through. Abuse is NEVER the victim's fault.

We met through my brother,
You two were best friends.
We fit like a puzzle,
To us we made sense.
We’d cuddle and joke
And hold hands in the dark,
Between us a fire burned,
There was a spark.

We had our first date
At that cafe downtown.
We’d laughed, just talking
And joking around.
Then on the way home
We both sang way off-key.
Everything was perfect,
I knew we were meant to be.

The day you proposed
Was the best of my life,
I was so excited
To become your wife.
The wedding was perfect
Couldn’t have asked for more.
I still have the beautiful dress
That I wore.

When we moved together,
I loved it so much.
Now I’d never be far
Away from your touch.
But your touch soon after
Became a source of fear.
‘Cause you slowly changed
As we moved through the year.

It started off small,
Little fights here and there.
You’d strike me with insults,
I pretended not to care.
The next day you’d apologize
“It won’t happen again.”
But it always did
And it became a trend.

But the moments between
All the verbal assault
Were worth it to me,
Plus it wasn’t your fault.
It was I who had angered you,
I was to blame.
I’d try to do better
In hopes you would stay.

Why was I so stupid,
Why was I so wrong,
Why was I so weak,
Why couldn’t I be strong.
Why did I keep messing up,
Did I keep failing,
The marks that you gave me
Always left me wailing.

I should be used to it by now,
But I’m not.
Each blow burns right through my skin,
Searing and hot.
But I deserve worse,
Everyone knows it’s true.
So beat me and break me,
I know you want to.

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