Nothing crushes me more..(rant)

than seeing my SO cry. I hate it. I hate it so much. Last night, his grandmother scolded us for not having our lives together. We're young, I'm 19 and he'll be 21 soon. We're both still living at home with our parents. This wasn't a planned pregnancy, but unfortunately, protection doesn't always work. Both of us are unemployed, but have frantically been looking for work. He was bashed for a not having a job, but it's so hard to find one around here. It's not like he's not looking, he has been and he's really worried about it. I even help him out when I can. She told me I had no excuse for not having a job either, that I'm not sick, I'm just pregnant. However, I do have a heart condition that doesn't allow me to exert myself. When I do, things get bad. I love this baby. I love her so much..but I don't know if we can do this financially. My family has a hard enough time getting by on their own, since my father left. So it's not like I'd be able to turn to them if I needed anything. Hell, I shouldn't have to. This is my responsibility. My mother is trying to get me a job at the place she works, it'd be a rough schedule (4pm-12am) but I've gotta do what I can. Hopefully my SO finds one soon as well. I'm trying so hard for her. It breaks my heart to even think about it, but adoption has crossed my mind numerous times. I've even dreamed about it. I just want what's best for my baby, and in the end, I hope that's me. I don't really know what I'm looking for, just comfort I guess. I needed to get that off my chest. This is the first time all pregnancy that I haven't been able to contain my emotions.