I think my best friend has a spending problem, and I'm worried she's heading down a debt-filled road. What should I do Reddit?
My best friend will be heading off to college this September (after taking a year off after high school), and I'm severely worried about her [lack of] financial planning.
Background info:
-Her family will unlikely be of help to her in terms of tuition, although she does live with them and currently is not expected to pay for rent or food.
-She has a part time job (and has had it for 2 years), and earns $250-400 on a bi-weekly basis
-Her college tuition will be $2k/semester
This is where the bad part comes in. I honestly believe that she doesn't have the ability to handle her income, which is not an easy thing to tell anybody. Currently she has maybe about 100 dollars in savings (she had $1000 saved up for school apparently, but her mom took it from her savings to give to her brother), and she doesn't seem to be planning to save the money at all. Just some examples of her spending habits:
-I have never heard her say "I'm going to save ___ from my paycheck" without the continuation of "for ____ in a week/2week/month"
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She will go "OP! Guess what! I'm getting paid on Wednesday, and I'm going to buy this this and this, but I have to pay my parents back and treat my mom out to dinner..."
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"I got admitted into college, therefore I deserve to treat myself to a tattoo"
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Gets vacation pay "Wow, I got an extra 400 dollars off my paycheck, I think I want to get an iPad"
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Doesn't have money to pay tuition: "Maybe I should get a line of credit...(goes to check), wow, I can borrow that much money? I want to buy a laptop and you know...just pay it back later"
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"I want _____ so much, but I already spent my paycheck, I wish I could borrow money"
She doesn't seem to have any restraints on herself for her spendings at all, and she doesn't seem to understand that essentials cost a lot more money than she thinks. She keeps talking about how she wants to move out and away from her family, but her spending habits are telling a completely different story. I've literally sat there and watch her plan out her next paycheck that's to come a week later, on frivolous shit like jewellery, cloths, perfume, accessories, cosmetics, piercings, haircut/highlights/dye, bags, gifts, etc. etc. I like shopping too, but I know that a lot of the times my money can be better spent elsewhere, or saved for a rainy day.
I'm just so frustrated seeing her like this, and it breaks my heart to think that she'll one day get a credit card from the bank, and never turn back. She's a hard-working person (her job is pretty intensive, and she always arrives early to help out), and I know she wants to start her own life, but I honestly don't think she knows how to be financially independent.
I've tried to point this out to her before subtly, such as: "shouldn't you be saving for college?" or "Do you really need another shirt/sweater/necklace?" but she just shrugs me off. Her family situation is a mess and there's no way I can even get into that, but I suspect that her mom's spending habits has also influenced her. If I point this out, I'll probably get backhanded.
I wish she could see that the shit she spends on are completely useless materialistic pieces of shit, and is only going to bring her short-term happiness. She feels like a responsible person - and I agree that she is in many aspects - but she blows through money every paycheck like she just won the lottery. Her defense is that she's not as bad as her mother, but that doesn't justify her spending habits. How do I tell her that she needs to handle her god damned money better?
tl;dr I'm scared my best friend will turn into the average american: spends money on useless things, gets into huge debt, ruin her life
Posted Jul 10, 2012, 4:48 AM UTC · edited