After dinner snack

It happened again. Another shirt ruined. Tonight, the whole family was together for dinner yet not one person said a word. Salad boob had struck again. I'm fine sitting in the chair eating, but if I need to reach for anything boobs dip onto the plate. After dinner we watched a movie and I felt like everyone was looking at me the whole time. Toward the end, I felt something on my arm. Lettuce? Yep, apparently I had lettuce on my boob for hours. Everyone laughed thinking I would get embarrassed and be a shit. Not so much. I did the only classy thing I could and said, "what? I was saving it." and then I ate it.