More lost than before

I posted a couple days ago and asked for help with an new online sub. I got good advice and did some communicating. Now I've found out she wants to be a toilet for me. I just filled out a questionaire asking about this kina stuff and i said no way! Bodily fluids arent for me. Now though all i want to do is defile this (admittedly online persona) in the most horrible ways possible. So i ask for two things. Help on how to do it, and also reassurance that i am not some horrible madman. Mostly help on how to do it.