Hoping for exchange of views: Would you convert to a religion to marry someone you love? [self]

author: Maloof (1 years) | author karma: 1/1 | original story's comments | [flag](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23atheismbot&subject=flag&message=Please describe why you are flagging this submission - http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/wb9ok/hoping_for_exchange_of_views_would_you_convert_to/)

Pretty simple question and, from my quick comb of previous self posts, it has been asked before to a certain degree. I, however, am looking for a little more than a bunch of "yes"s and "no"s... I'm hoping to get a more lively exchange of ideas and view points on this (out of both curiosity and relevance to my life).

So, atheists, say you fall for a man or woman and you love them very much. They are religious but aren't militant or preachy, they know you're an atheist and don't have a visceral "you're the devil" sort of reaction. When it comes time to get married, however, your fiancé and their family ask that you convert to their religion... Would you?

I guess I'm asking reddit because, on a day-to-day basis, the majority of r/atheism posts seem to be "this is an academic or logical reason why X religion is wrong". Right, wrong, or indifferent, that seems to be the norm. I'm not trying to be controversial on that front, I'm just saying that this hypothetical situation is much different and much more personal... It takes the religion itself out of the forefront and instead places it as the backdrop for a more intimate interpersonal issue.

tl;dr: You're engaged to someone you love who isn't repulsed by your atheism, but either their religion or their family strongly urges marriage between two people of their faith. Would you convert for them? Why/why not?

In an effort to encourage a higher level of discourse I'm going to provide some food for thought / jumping-off points. You don't have to answer them all but I'm hoping they'll spark responses a little deeper than "meh whatever".

If you would convert...

• Would you lie to them to make it seem as if you actually believed the teachings of their church?
• Would you feel comfortable regularly attending religious events / mass as an atheist, or would you feel as if you were misleading these people?
• Would you feel hypocritical, dishonest or perjurious for taking a religious vow which you don't agree with?
• Would you harbor any feelings of resentment towards them for making you change your beliefs in order to get married?

If you would not convert...

• What would your primary reasoning be? Moral, ethical, academic, personal?
• If they refuse to marry you if you don't convert, and you refuse to marry them if they don't "drop it", would you break up with someone who you otherwise love more than anything?

Feel free to comment if you have married someone and already made some of these decisions. A hindsight answer would be at least as interesting as a hypothetical one.

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