Too Young

I've been a lurker (of this subreddit exclusively) for a pretty long time. I started masturbation in general at 12, progressing from mere fascinated rubbing of the head when sensitivity was its greatest, to that oh-so-detrimental death-grip.

Spontaneous erections were still occurring, but I'd already noticed I couldn't get erect while standing. Although I blew this off as a personal quirk, I was bothered by the videos I viewed featuring males on their feet... Can anyone here ONLY get boners a certain way? I thought this was due to some weird nerve or blood thing (pretty sure I have hypoglycemia or something). When at all active or hot (showering), my body itches and the skin turns red, ESPECIALLY my feet. This itch replaces all sweating. I just can't seem to sweat; it feels like it's trapped. So during fapping the tops of my feet would become red and itchy, I'd actually start gasping and continue seemingly hyperventilating until ejaculation. The act became something I just wanted to get over with once started. Also, I can get erections while masturbating on my knees, but standing immediately kills it.

Now that I write this out, it's sounding like my penis is the way it is because I sat while masturbating in the first place (can suddenly hear the lisped YBOP guy talking about rewiring lol).

Back to the main issue, the last spontaneous erection while sitting that I remember was the day of Obama's inauguration. So I started in 6th grade, developed full ED by 7th, and will soon start 11th. This needs to stop. I think getting ED 9 months after the habit began is pretty insane, but it's explained by my horrible predisposition to addictions of all kinds. This is why I won't drink alcohol or anything ever, but I won't start rambling again.

Anyway idk how to censor NSFW stuff, but the following's pretty important: ex-GF I was of course attracted to had her mouth around 'it' last December on our one-year anniv, planning to give me the gift of fellatio, but it stayed completely limp. Her body was exposed, but the fact that we had to hurry before adult supervision returned didn't help my member.

Things I don't think I mentioned:

Being unable to breathe isn't the result of being overweight or anything. 5'10", 118lbs.

I'm naturally anxious and shit, verging on agoraphobic.

I have some histadelia thing and think my problem could be physical, so I need an actual physical and I'll ask to see if antihistamines or something would help me.

After the incident in Dec, I found this and YBOP Jan 15, and I've been struggling through continuous relapses since. And although I've gotten to the point where I last 5 days like every time, I've noticed increased creativity (4 great poems in 24 hours) which has pleased the new GF. I've told her about my problem so she isn't surprised later on, or thinks I don't find her attractive. She was really nice and mature about it, esp for this being high school where all this is important to ppl.

Hoping the flair and some posts will help me past 5 days. I've gone 48 hours now. Thank you.