What is stopping me from praying? How do I do it?

So as a kid prayer was no problem. I remember being something like 7, cleaning my fish tank on a cloudy day and praying to God to not let it rain until after 3pm or so, so I could go ask my parents if I could go out and play. Well in the end I was never allowed out to play, but about 3:15p it started to rain. Ive always thought it was a fluke but it did give me a strong faith as other little things like that happened through out my youth.

After middle school my faith had faded completely, but it came back again after high school and in college it was restored. But I find one problem... I cant pray.

Like words will not come out of my mouth, I talk internally often and so forth but I do not ask or or pray to God. For some reason its impossibly hard. When I do get a chance I have to be broken and in tears and alone. That's when I was able to pray allowed for a few times in a crisis last year.

Still it has dawned on me recently that I just can't on command. For half a year I kept what I called a 'prayer' journal' which allowed me to write to God. I wrote letters to him. Sometimes I read them allowed after writing. But when it came to straight up praying for someone or diving into it. Its impossible. Its not sincere if I passively try. It almost feels as if I don't want to which is untrue. Maybe its just with addressing to God. A lot of people I noticed say 'lord God' when praying, and after almost every word. I was told by someone when I asked why they do that, ' that its showing respect for God'. Ive always believed acting as a creation or child speaking to the creator, you could just talk to him like a person talking to a close friend. You dont need to say there name constantly because they know you're talking to them. And heres another thing, do you always have to speak allowed to him? or talk to him internally?

Within the past two weeks 4 people I know have died. 2 of which I wanted to pray for so desperately but couldn't. My mind keeps saying 'if another person close to me dies, than I'll pray'. As if delaying it inevitably.

Basically I dont know about this whole 'praying' thing. Its just beyond my understanding as far as how.