[S] (A Depressed Whale) (SecretAgentBob)

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(SFX: Ambient Underwater Sound)
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Fish: Hey, Mr. Whale. What's going on?
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Whale: Well, to be honest, I'm feeling kind of depressed.
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Fish: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried swimming around?
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Whale: Yeah, I tried swimming around.
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Fish: Have you tried eating some plankton.
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Whale: Yeah, I tried eating some plankton.
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Fish: Well, I guess that's about all a whale can do, huh.
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Whale: Yep, and none of it helped. I'm still all depressed.
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Whale: And you know what else?
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Fish: What's that?
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Whale: (SFX: Gun Clicks) This is a robbery, gimme your goddamn money.
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Fish: Woah, this has taken a turn.
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Whale: I said gimmie your money, bitch.
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Fish: I don't understand what's going on here.
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Whale: I'm not depressed. That was a ruse.
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Whale: Hell, I don't even know if whales can get depressed.
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Fish: All right, all right, I don't want any trouble.
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Whale: You're damn right you don't want any trouble. I'm a whaaale.
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Whale: You know how big whales are?
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Whale: People use whale as, like, a synonym for goddamn gigantic.
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Whale: That's how big whales are.
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Fish: All right, all right, but there's, uh, something I should tell you.
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Fish: (SFX: Gun Clicks) I'm an undercover cop. This is a sting.
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Whale: Oh man, that's some crap.
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Fish: So how's this gonna play out, the easy way or the hard way?
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Whale: I ain't going to jail man. You know what they do to whales in jail?
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Whale: Nothing, cause whales are goddamn humongous, but it's still an inconvenience.
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Fish: Well, maybe we can work something out...off the record.
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Whale: I would appreciate that. I got tickets to Phantom of the Opera tomorrow.
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Fish: How about you give me whatever cash you've stolen, and we can pretend this never happened.
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Whale: That sounds reasonable...well, except
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Whale: (SFX: Gun Clicks) I ain't a robber, I'm an internal affairs officer investigating police corruption.
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Fish: Well, then have I got a surprise for you.
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Fish: (SFX: Spatula Clicks) I'm not a cop. I'm a fry cook at Steak and Shake.
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Whale: I'll be honest, I don't fully understand where that leaves us.
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(SFX: Ambient Underwater Sound)