Someone just tell me the right answer.

This is a long story so I'm going to do my best to take out the small details, I'll be happy to elaborate on anything later.

I'm 21 (f) and he's 23. We have been together for a little over 3 years. When we met I was a senior in high school coming off my first heart break and he was living with his at the time girlfriend. We became close friends quickly, and he told me he had been over his girlfriend for a while now and felt like he was living with a best friend, but did't know how to break it off or have the motivation to until he met me. So we started dating in March of 2009. I was 18, bubbly, happy with the world at my finger tips. I had so many friends, a good outlook, and very happy.

In the fallowing year things with "Pete" were incredible. My first love was a thing of the past and I was so over whelmed by the feelings Pete gave me. I slept over his apartment most days, I got along great with his friends. We would party, hang out, make bon fires, hike, you name it. However while I was having the time of my life my mom was not happy with my behavior and the events in her life. My dad does work all over the world and is some times gone for over a year at a time with one or two visits for a few days so I know she was going through a lot. I was sleeping home 3-4 nights a week, I suppose I should mention now my mom and brother both have very out of control anger issues. When I was home she would just scream at me, "to move the fuck out if I wasn't going to stay home" eventually I did.

Fall of 2010 I moved in with Pete and our best friend. A little soon, I know but at the time it felt so right. My mom cried and wanted me to come home, that she did't mean to push me away. I was only 15 minutes away and brushed her off.

Again things with Pete were perfect. One of the happiest times of my life. However, my mom was on the complete opposite end of that spectrum. On my birthday I found out, from my mom on her 2nd bottle of wine to the face reading over my dads emails, that he was having an affair, with multiple women since 2006. Some one night stands some relationships. This time a girl my age was living with him where he was working. He's an alcoholic and they met in AA. My siblings and I were not to tell my dad b.c my mom was struggling with bills and we were afraid he would stop sending us money to support my mom brother and sister. For six months we had to act like everything was fine when he called. My brother was 22, and out with his girlfriend a lot, my little sister was only 15/16 and stuck home with my drunk crying mom. I know this took a toll on her. Anyways getting off topic that's for another post.

So anyways this drove me into a deep depression, and Pete was there for me. He gave me a reason to be happy and took care of me when I did't know how to take care of myself and for that, I will always be so grateful to him and love him so much.

Things went sour with our room mates and we had to move out before things got worse. We got a small apartment in a really bad part of town. I have been working two jobs and recently went to one full time.

My dad has been home for over a year now, since May 2011 (unemployed, but sued his company so they're living like royalty). My parents did not go to marriage therapy, or divorce but instead live a very unhealthy relationship. It is bought up every time they fight and I just don't see my mom the same way. Some times I think I judge her too hard, she has been through more then I hope I have to deal with in my whole life in the last three years. (On top of the affair thing she was about to go ten year at her school which she loved when she was laid off and replaced with two part timers and now has to drive 2.5 hours both was to a shitty school for less money and that was before my dad left and to the present) Anyways, I've always dreamed I would grow into a beautiful women like my mother, now I dread it. She took care of three kids single handedly, never complained, a hot fresh home cooked meal on the table every night, she has her masters, she was kind and just, in my eyes a model human being. Everything I aspired to be. Now she acts like a miserable spoiled brat. She was abused, verbally and emotionally for over a year. My dad came home to our house wearing that whores ring and she just took him back. Just laid down and took it. How can I respect that? She treats her kids like crap and does nothing but complain. And seeing this change in her really changed me.

ANYWAYS this does have to do with Pete. I promise.

Now here was are. July 2012 and I'm miserable. I guess the best way to put it is I'm sick of Pete. Little things that are not a big deal make me explode, I'm aware of the anger problems my family has so Pete rarely sees it but it my head I'm seeing red and on a rampage. The biggest problem is he's a slop. I feel like a maid, I work more then he does and I come home and clean up after him. When I ask him to he says okay, put like one thing away and is back on the computer. He has lost everything about him that I loved. I have to beg him to hang out with our old friends, who aren't really even friends anymore because they gave up on trying to be with him. He's gotten mean and puts me down a lot. He makes me feel stupid, he constantly insults my intelligence and does not encourage me at all. Then he says "I'm just joking baby" but for the past year it hasn't been funny. Some times yeah throw a friendly joke at me but it's all the time.

I have almost no friends left and I find myself socially awkward from lack of anyone besides my family and him for so long. I have three good friends and only one do I see more then once a week and that's only because we work together. I have driven myself into poverty to live on my own. I just don't make enough anymore and I can't put my schooling on hold anymore.

I wish he just understood me. I wish I could just loose my fucking temper and scream at the top of my lungs when I come home from a 10 hour work day to find him sitting on the computer with dishes over flowing, hair in the sink, laundry everywhere, the cat not feed, and the apartment destroyed. I never know if I have the right to loose it or if I'm becoming my mother, but because of that I have all these emotions locked inside of me that I don't know what to do with.

He doesn't give me enough attention. Unless he's talking to me like I'm stupid or putting me down, or giving me insincere "you're beautiful" (its his tone of voice I know that sounds shitty on my end but I can just tell) he usually doesn't talk that much and I don't know why there is this change in him. I've tried countless times to go over our relationship and try to make things better but he just zones me out and "yes"s me to death and nothing comes of these talks.

I've been on the fence about moving back home for a while but I'm scared to not be with him. He's been the only one really there for me this entire time. Things at home have gotten better and my sister is happier now, but I'm still worried about moving there for that reason too. I've thought about just leaving him. However it's obvious he's depressed and I don't want to make it worse, the last few weeks have been better for him and I want him to be happy.

Now that I've spent time rambling on making everyone in my life out to be an asshole let me explain why I stay with him and why I continue to talk to my family

My family has made big strides. Although there is a lot of hurt things ARE better and they're my family. No matter what I will love them and support them as they would me.

Pete, I love him so much. Not like a puppy love but a real love. He loves me too. Although he's been distant and even mean he would do any thing for me, and has. I'm his world. Pretty much his only friend. Although he has a cold sense of humor and brings me down a lot when he's serious it's clear I'm his girl. When he tells me he loves me or looks at me I can see his eyes change and his voice and I know he really does. We get long so well. I know what I said before about him putting me down, but he says it's his sense of humor. When he's not acting like that he's a really sweet guy. Right now he's in the kitchen at 2am making chicken and singing to me. I'm starting to tear up I love him so much. I just don't know if it's enough.

r/relationships... I guess what I'm asking is what should I do? Am I being a soiled brat or should I end things? Maybe I could move back home and still be with him? Has anyone here ever done that? How did it work out? Maybe I just need my space. I know I need to save money while I can, and before I even have a chance I'm holding myself back paying bills I don't have to pay. If Pete and I stay together maybe this is the best choice for our future together?

TL;DR Been with my boyfriend during some of the hardest times of my life. Some time later although I love him some times I just hate his face and want to run while at the same time being crazy for him. I could move home although I don't know how that would go. Confused and in need of help. Sorry this is so long.