The five rules of cat ownership

It is not your cat. "Your cat" implies that you own the cat. The cat is the owner, you are the servant.

What's theirs is theirs. What's yours is theirs.

If it is in their way, it is going on the floor.

You sleep when and where the cat wants you to. If you have multiple cats you may not sleep ever again.

Food is to be divvied up between all cats present. If some remains after they have had their fill you may be permitted to eat.