How can I start caring about and loving women again?

I've been a long time lurker and decided to jump in with my unique problem. I don't know if this is the right place, but you guys are the most helpful subreddit I know so I will ask you first. I warn you it is kind of a long story.

So my problem is not that I am the nice guy or jerk, but the cold, distant one. In my younger years I was in an extremely unhealthy (and illegal) relationship that without going into detail has made it difficult for me to trust women again. From that point on I kind of shut off to falling in love again because the last time I tried it really messed me up psychologically.

Nowadays, even flirting with women is hard to do. I find that whenever I try to compliment a girl or make even the slightest bit of advance I freak out because I feel like I'm sumbitting to them and allowing them to have control over me. It makes me feel weak. I feel like I'm giving away my power and leverage, and they are going to lead me on using my feelings for them as some sort of device to get what they want. And yes, I know that seems irrational, but it actually happened to me before so it's really hard to convince myself that another girl won't do the same.

I've been seeing a therapist, and I told him I was going to wait until I felt ready to date, and he basically said to not mistake my fear of women for unpreparedness and that the fear will never go away until I try again, maybe multiple times. And he's right, cause I do want to find a cool chick as a girlfriend. But I have to learn how now, and that's where this place comes in.

I've noticed a lot of the advice on here is written for guys who have the opposite problem as me, trying to get the girl to like the guy. I don't have that problem because I never care about any specific girl at all.

So Seddit, I ask you, what sort of things can I do to make myself like women more, be more receptive to dating, and just letting myself trust women in general more openly?