Sexerciser's sexual fitness diary, Day 1

My background: Early thirties male, physically healthy in most respects. Chronic delayed ejaculation or inability to ejaculate during sex. Moderate death grip syndrome. Intermittent ED, probably half from lack of confidence stemming from the delayed ejaculation, and half from porn addiction. Attractive bachelor, dateless wonder.

All day today, I was tempted to masturbate to porn. I had a particular video that I very much wanted to watch and yank my cock to. Nice and quick and intense. The pleasure would be immense. Then I thought, well, what if instead of doing that, I get out my Fleshlight and go at it hands-free and porn-free?

Masturbation suddenly seemed a whole lot less enticing. That saddened me. Masturbation should be fun and easy, right? But the thought of using my body to masturbate instead of my hand, and using my imagination instead of an erotic video almost made masturbation seem like a chore. I figured I might very well be exhausted by the time I reached orgasm.

I decided then masturbation can be like exercise. It can be tiring and taxing. But there's a payoff, both in the orgasm and in the sexual fitness gained by good masturbation practices. I decided that if I want masturbation to be fun and easy even without porn, and without a death grip, well, I should just do it that way and practice getting whatever enjoyment out of it that I can.

So I got in the missionary position and thrust into the Fleshlight hands-free. I focused on the sensations and I fantasized about real-life women. I tried lying on my side and thrusting into it, which was a lot of fun and something I've never done before. Basically, I just bounced and rolled around having sex with myself in a few different ways, focusing on enjoying the sensations.

In the end, I fell back on pornographic thoughts and the rapid stimulation of my hand moving the Fleshlight in order to achieve orgasm. Such is the imperfect nature of my habits and habituations. But I didn't use the death grip, I didn't look at porn, and for at least a few minutes, I worked my muscles, reveled in the sensations of masturbation, and exercised some sexual creativity.

Most importantly, I chose to view the masturbation as an accomplishment, completely free of any feelings of guilt. I satisfied my urges in a way that enhanced my sexual fitness.

Then I ordered a new Fleshlight, because mine is old and doesn't feel so great anymore.

Then I created this subreddit. :)