Watching my friend die

Well its come to the end of a long run, and that ball of fur that used to ride in the back window of my VW turned 90 lb Chesepeake, is winding down after 13 years. I dont expect him to live through the night. worst thing is, im working in the bush and there is no vet to ease his suffering, and i simply cannot do it myself. He has over 13 years towed my float plane into dock every time, regardless of water temperature (his chosen official job), stood his ground against grizzleys to protect me or my passengers, more times than i can count. Pinned the guy who broke into our house in the night, into the bathroom till i could get the cops there, and im sure protected us from many more things i cant even imagine. need a bodyguard, get a Chesepeake.

if tears could burst forth from my very soul, they would drown the world.

Im nothing but pure hurt right now.

edit: I keep thinking it would be appropriate for both of us not to come back from this trip. cant imagine life without him. wont be hard, just turn off the engine, and glide in.

edit 2:

he took some water, and kept it down, panted for a little while. i hope thats a good sign.. holding his own.. 6h before i can get him the hell out of here and to a vet.

edit 3: Well he survived the night. Im going to see how i can make him comfortable in the plane, and get him to a vet. I suspect the news wont be good, but at least i can end his suffering.

edit 4:

well he survived the 2 1/5 hour flight back to civilization, through the roughest air Ive seen in a long time. weather was bad enough i normally would have aborted the flight, but this was one of those times it was going to be both of us get back or none of use do. The Aircraft has a few new hail dents it didnt have before but that can be fixed. The Vet put him on iv fluids, did blood work. came back as dehydrated, and low White cell count with immature white cells. the Dr translated that as he is throwing everything he has at an infection, his white cells are getting used up and there are no new ones ready for the fight. xray confirmed bones of some critter inside his intestines. probably half rotten knowing him.

so where does this leave me? well joyous. I was convinced through the night that it was either the big "C" or perhaps organ failure. I really didn't think we was going to last the night. I have to hand it to him, he is a tough S.O.B. He will be at the vet at least overnight perhaps longer, but at least im getting my "First Officer" back.. for a little while longer anyways.

Thanks for the comments it really helps just knowing that im not alone. and that others care enough to put a few words of encouragement to the keyboard. will give one final update once he is home.

Ive been up now going on 30something hours without sleep, im going to head for my hotel room and try and sleep.

edit 5:

Well after $5000.00 in vet bills/medivac (money i dont have but spent regardless) Diesel is back on the mend and back home.. Apparently there was the decomposing whole remains of a rabbit impacted in his small intestine.. Silly dog, you are not a snake, chew your food first..

here he is back home http://twitpic.com/a8dmx3