I need help letting go...

I'll try and keep this short, but this is likely to fail...

I'm a 29 year old male. My sexuality is a strange thing for starters, I would loosely define myself as a bisexual but with a strong, like, 95% bias towards women. Gay porn can turn me on, the gay sex with which I have experimented kind of does, in the sense that a job was done, but my heart beats for sex with a woman, and the beautiful intimacy and softness of a woman's love. I have considered that I may even have transgender tendencies...I don't like "fucking"...my biggest turn-on is loving intimacy, I've been told by many past lovers that I make love like a woman. That said, I strongly identify as a male. Its difficult to explain...but it could be relevant in ways I've not yet discovered...

I have also experienced past relationship traumas, like everyone, of course - but I feel this situation is unique to me among my circle of friends - women I have loved, have often left me for other women.

This recurring situation has left me with a simmering resentment towards bisexual and lesbian women. I know of course how wrong it is to harbour such things and I really want to let go.

I feel as though the lesbian/bi-sexual world is like a secret club of higher pleasures that I can't provide as a man. Also, my SO is a bisexual woman, (I seem to attract, and be attracted to them, perversely) but she knows of my issues. I love her for reasons I need not go into here, and I want to be understanding of her need to make love with women. I don't want to let this one go. I have been reading a lot of literature from bisexual women, explaining how she can enjoy different things from men and women. I want to gain a healthy attitude towards this wonderful view of sexuality, but as things stand, it pierces my heart to imagine her having sex with a woman. Strangely, the thought of her with a man doesn't bother me so much...

I know one might say that if she is monogamous, there needn't be an issue, and I appreciate that, but I don't want to stand in the way of her natural desires, and I also want to be strong for her. I want to be able to face up to the reality that she might sometimes yearn for a woman's touch, without taking it as a rejection of everything I am as a man. Hell, maybe even enjoy threesomes and things like that. Currently, that thought is a sexual minefield I want to cross successfully. I believe it will make me a better person.

Has anyone got a similar story to me? If so, what did you do to get out of it?

tl;dr: 29 year old male meets a bi-sexual woman with whom he falls in love. Seeks help in letting go of issues involving sexuality, in order for the relationship to blossom in good health.

Thankyou for reading.