I am so tired of feeling vulnerable.

Tonight you told me about how you used to be "overly affectionate", "too lovey dovey" and that over time you slowly started to realize that those are bad qualities to have. Could my timing have been any worse!? Those are great qualities to have. I tried to sway you, saying that regardless of the qualities that you have, you shouldn't change them or put aside your emotions for the sake of appeasing other people, because SOMEDAY (like now) there will be someone who doesn't give a SHIT about how "overly affectionate" you are. In fact, they'll fucking like it! (like me.)

But you're not overly affectionate. You're not lovely dovey with me, at least, when we aren't drunk. You said that people change every day, and while they may be tiny changes, over time, they can change and shape a personality. Now you're not a cuddler. Well fuck my life, I am.

Tonight, I feel like we peered into each other's hearts for a little bit. Talking about what shaped us into who we are and whatnot. But I can't help but feel that... I'm still delivering more than you are. Because I admitted to you that I'm the type of person who would take risks and allow myself to get hurt for a lifetime if it meant being kind and real to everyone.

But no, you said it's a dog-eat-dog world out there and that the way I view life isn't beneficial to me. It makes me wonder what you think of me. Are YOU fake to me? You said that everybody plays games. Everybody says what they have to say to get by.

Well here's my message to you: I don't. I'm not like that. I don't play games and I won't be fake. I'm just fucking scared so I might not tell you the whole story...

Fuck.