Have you ever considered suicide? If so, what/who made you stop?

I think about it a lot, but the thought of getting to spend more time with my grandmother stops me. She lives far away from me and so I don't get to spend as much time as I can with her. Also, I don't want her to be sad. I'm afraid of what's going to happen when she goes away. Edit: Thank you for sharing your stories. I will read every single one. I still feel suicidal, but not as alone