What is the strangest or most unexpected email you've received from a parent?

I'll start...

I lived in London for 4 years - one day I woke up to this email from my Mum. Our family is quite open, and after a brandy or two my Mum is known for over-sharing. All her words from here, copied verbatim.

"A saga that happened last Thursday night follows. Note: Your Dad is fine.

We are in bed - it's about midnightish - and we're doing what married couples do! I'll leave out the details, but just after the event, I say:

'Frank, you've wet the bed.'

'I haven't wet the bed, you have.'

So I jump out of bed and flick the light on the ensuite to go to the loo. Get a shock in the mirror to see my body is covered in blood. I sit on the loo, momentarily, trying to determine where the blood's coming from.

'Frank - come here for a minute. I'm bleeding and can't see from where.'

No answer.

'Frank, come here now!'

No answer.

'Frank!!!!!'

Frank comes into the ensuite holding his jama pants against his private. 'It's me who's bleeding he says', and promptly passes out - falls down in slow motion. I try to revive him by slapping his cheeks, saying 'You know I love you' - just in case he's going to cark it, which I really thought he was.

I scream out to Adam (who is sound asleep) to get an ambulance. That his Dad is bleeding.

Full marks to Adam - what he must have witnessed as he viewed his father on the floor, blood everywhere - up the shower screen on the floor tiles - including on me - so many questions must have been running through his mind, like who tried to murder whom. Adam rings triple 000 (his view our bed that is saturated with blood - like a murder scene). He organises the ambulance. Then turns on front lights, etc., whilst I sit with Frank who has regained consciousness. Adam reappears, says, looking bemused (and spooked) what happened? 'We were having sex,' I say, and Adam promptly disappears down the hallway. I put a blanket over him to keep him warm (that's what the 000 operator told me to do when I finally spoke to her). We wait for about 5 minutes and the paramedics arrive and look aghast at all the blood (by this time Francis has stopped bleeding). 'What happened?' they ask. 'We were having sex,' I tell them. And he's been bleeding profusely from his penis, but it's stopped now.' I tell the paramedic to have a look at the amount of blood he's lost - so he sticks his head in the bedroom and says, 'You've lost about a litre of blood'.

Turns out your Father whilst being too active, caused an artery in his penis to burst - hence the huge amount of blood in just a few minutes.

Course Francis won't go to hospital, even though his blood pressure is very low. So the ambos sit with your Dad for about half an hour until his blood pressure evens out a bit.

Consequence: Your Dad saw GP first thing in the morning, and an emergency appointment was made that arvo with his specialist who did the prostate op on him some time ago. Result: No op needed to mend - just two weeks of letting it be idle (whoopee - I can read more chapters at night!)

So...that's the saga. Very funny in hindsight. In fact, the paramedics were laughing at me mucking around cracking jokes, and they said what a delight it was to come into a happy home. That the last home they'd been in was very depressing. 'Our job is really depressing', they say. As I show them out the door, I say, 'You reckon you're job's depressing, I'm a funeral celebrant.' They go down the driveway laughing. Their final comment...'We've got a great story to tell at debriefing at the end of our shift. We've never seen anything like this.' All I could think of (but refrained from saying), at least Francis didn't cark it during the act and we got stuck together and had to be carted off by ambulance to be separated).

Thought you'd be very interested in this tale (tail!)

Luv Me"