You paint such a beautiful picture here Nigel, I really admire your work. The first line is already so gripping, evocative and beautiful with "wing unfolds/clicks/ revolver's hammer". There is nothing superfluous in this poem and I feel like each line is so well considered, like it doesn't contain a single word more than necessary and is just brimming with bittersweet nostalgic metaphors. I especially loved the imagery when you started to describe "the way it feels in my mouth". The turns with "a promise that belonged to someone else" and "still begging to be touched, to be held" both really hit you where it hurts, great job.

This is a very melancholic piece. I love the imagery, especially at the start of the piece.  I personally get the implication that the writer did something bad to get all those rings and that’s why they weigh so heavy on the writers skin but the writer thought that whatever they did was worth it until that person left them. It’s an unsettling piece and I think it does what you wanted it to do excellent.

I like the similes, and the general narrative is nice. Pretty good; I really like this one.

I really loved the sixth paragraph, I think I teared a little.

This is nice. I wish it didn't end there, that the speaker gave us a bit more of a meditation on the object and it's world, perhaps the inner world that its contemplation unlocks in the speaker's mind, heart, soul, awareness? 

Some gorgeous painterly lines


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The left wing unfolds with a click  
like a revolver's hammer,  

shouldering the weight of all the rings  
that were melted down to make it with,  

and the cold on my skin is that  
of all the hands that wore them, resting  

in mine like a river stone about to spill.  
*Locket* --- I like the way it feels in the mouth,  

how the sound of it moves like a bubble  
in a jar turned upside down.  

It lives in my desk drawer now, a promise  
that belonged to someone else,  

knocked around with marbles, pen lids  
and bits of string too small to use,  

still begging to be touched, to be held.  

----‐----------

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wco24v/the_uncharted_land_of_your_garden/iie5d0j

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/waijkl/curtalns/iie7oil

Blackbird Locket