Ball and Chain
I no longer seek,
To hide the scars,
That speak of my enslavement,
Because I,
No longer can deny,
That my fetters chafe me,
But it is what it is,
And, it would seem,
It's for the best,
It galls me as I write these letters,
But only because I lack the means,
To satiate my mistress,
She's a sullen, moody queen,
But her touch...
Her touch...
Can be as close as I'll ever get,
To divinity,
She's the only one,
Who can deny this twisting knife,
And quieten the searing pain,
Of my insanity.
Posted Jul 31, 2022, 5:55 PM UTC
13
This poem is well structured and delivers the dark and bitter feeling of loving someone who brings us pain but we're unable to leave. I like the use of the word 'fetters' and also the clever use of the phrase 'it galls me' because it means both to make sore by rubbing and to annoy or make angry, which are both being expressed here. The only suggestion I have would be maybe to change up the punctuation because almost every line ends with a comma, in some lines it simply isn't needed and in others it would benefit from being a full stop.
Well it's a metaphor. More like being betrothed to something rather than someone. And I was taught that the end of a line in a poem had a comma at the end of it, so that's what I've always done. I thought that was the right way... Thanks for the advice though! And thanks for reading!