This is a beautiful representation of the insecurities that most women face, feeling that everyone else is prettier and more confident. It is interesting that you have taken a step back to think about possible shared insecurity.

its crazy that you wrote something like this on a toilet, definitely an image of juxtaposition. im really new to poetry so take all these comments with a grain of salt. it felt like to me that the sentence "complete with a vodka lemonade in hand" would sting a lot more profoundly if you left it as "complete with a vodka lemonade" because in the sentence before it you were talking about an outfit, and the lemonade line could have emphasis as a part of that outfit, idk. i also think the lines "i wonder if they hated this too, if they hated themselves too" would stand out more it omitted the too "i wonder if they hated this, if they hated themselves".   overall i am sorry you feel this way, its cruel that societal expectations of female beauty are so skin deep

What made the ending blunt for you?

I imagined the speaker picking apart shards of the mirror as if it were themselves.

i love the realness of this, the internal questioning. i could see myself in that nightclub. the ending really wrapped up the piece well with blunt emotional impact. i love it!

Jeez this is a pretty raw poem. I can really see how the person is questioning themselves and their insecurities, asking if everyone around them is also wearing a mask. It's really shows how an insecure person would feel. I really like this poem and I hope you compose more :>

The story you tell is both realistic and relatable

I feel like I am with you in that bathroom. It’s always interesting that chaotic, busy, loud, drunk nights always seem to have a calm, quiet, sobering moment somewhere in between. Alone, before we rejoin the noise. I’d love to read more.

Really love this. You can feel the raw emotions in the writing. Very human.

We all stood in a circle  
wearing the same outfit  


Simple words captured what's it like to be a 20 something woman. 

The poem reads easy but hits hard.

I don't go clubbing, ever. 
I'm not a woman, either. 

But I underdtand the feeling of inadequecy, I'm quite familiar with it. 

I also understand the part about putting on brave face. 

Do it all the time, different mask for different people.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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Raw and real.

I used to hate nightclubs when I was younger. One advantage of getting older has been not going to them anymore!

It would be interesting to track the evolution of human female prettiness across the millennia (I mean tens of thousands of years). Evidently adult female "beauty" is neotenic, meaning it recalls or retains physically immature human features, far more than adult male features do. Which isn't particularly surprising I guess, since female beauty fundamentally signals at a latent subconscious, almost primeval, level submissiveness and inoffensiveness before the male. Male selective pressure across tens of thousands of years sculpted the physiognomy of modern adult female beauty. In short one might argue female beauty is ultimately a creation of one of the most ancient forms and dimensions of the patriarchy. Yet, I believe it was Sartre who fought against this determinism by arguing that existence precedes essence, not vice versa. So what is fundamentally the existence behind the thoughts reflected in this particular work?...Just some of the things that come to mind while reading this well

I won’t comment on your experience, but the poem itself seems to me successful because it is minimal and restrained - a poem written at a time of sadness and insecurity could easily become rambling and repetitive. This poem says everything it needs to say concisely and effectively. Also, it seems to say what it needs to say perfectly without the need for fancy metaphors and vocabulary. It is remarkably direct, honest, to-the-heart. I’m glad you kept and shared this poem.

I love this poems honesty and I think accurately mirrros how many people feel in social situations. Wondering if they are even comparable pretty or smart or put-together as the rest of the crowd and wondering if (maybe even hoping that?) the other members of the crowd feel similarly and thinking every interaction is fake and fueled by mask-wearing is a raw and relatable series of thoughts to go through. Good work!

yes, the context represents the title. it is so simple and blatant that i had to read the entire poem. also, the fact that the poem was written in a moment of sadness - especially in a public place, a night club's bathroom - really showed how the author may feel: lonely in a place designated for social interactions. i can relate to that.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this poem! I like how the title gives context to the act of writing rather than the content of the poem. What about the context made you relate more? Do you mean the title by context?

honestly, the fact that you gave us context made this poem 10x better. the reader can relate on a deeper level this way. or at least i did. beautiful!

This poem is beautiful even though you may not feel it💜

It’s funny how such details like vodka lemonade drive home the feeling of being there. Something from the outside one would never second guess, and on the inside all you are doing is guessing and stressing. The lines imposed a feeling of worry and displeasure, dissatisfaction in me, and made me think about all the times I’ve seen groups together like this “out”

Tonight I stood on a dancefloor

it was full of girls who were prettier

then I will ever be.

We all stood in a circle

wearing the same outfit

complete with a vodka lemonade in hand. 



I felt tired 



I wondered if they hated this too

if they hated themselves too.

if we were all putting on the same brave face

I wondered if they'd stared at themselves 

in their barthroom mirrors for an hour 

picking themselves apart.

Feedback 1:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wfh0zr/you/iiygk0e?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

Feedback 2:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wfervl/revenge/iiyinfh?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share&amp;context=3

I wrote this one in a nightclub toilet while crying