[2170] "The Big Death" comedic/literary short fiction

Hey folks and etcs,

This is a reworking of an older comedic short story I wrote. I think the funniness might be funnier if I don't give a plot summary.

Because this is a redraft, which I rarely post, I'm happy for you to focus on any area of need that strikes you, particularly things that need to go.

LINK TO STORY - feel free to comment but pls don't edit it

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Crit 2350