Wine
The floral patterns of your house,
a caged bird, singing
an interminable confine.
The flow of wine, unceasing
complaints, to the stars,
mostly.
May you find a cage
big enough
for the two of us.
Posted Aug 9, 2022, 3:12 PM UTC
1722
Your poem transported me back to 2008 and my girlfriend at the time. It wasn’t an overall bad relationship, though it felt like we were trapped: “interminable confine” really hitting the nail on the head for that
2
Hey thank you. It means a lot that my poems hit people in the feels, kind of the whole point of the exercise, so I'm really happy if it works. :)
2
hmm this is a curious piece. The author is speaking to someone i assume over many glasses of wine. It seems they long to be let into someone life that feels trapped. They want to be trapped with them in love instead of lowliness but for now it seems they are separated by different "cages" This is very vague I love it. It can relate to many life stories.
2
I wanted it to be vague, in a sense, because even my feelings were vague when I wrote the piece. It reflects on more of a momentary emotion, a glimpse of understanding, rather than an analytical answer to a situation I am too wine-drunk to grasp.
2
Wonderful metaphors - the poem comes full circle very well. Also, the execution and last stanza really encapsulate the feeling portrayed!
2
Thank you!
1
Made me smile.
2
I'm glad! Thank you!
1
Ouh, truly a fun poem.
Thanks for sharing & posting.
Best!best
Full_Consturction880
One of the best pieces I have read in awhile. Plz continue writing. best&best
2
I will try my best. Thank you for your nice words, they mean a lot! ❤️
1
There’s a beauty in this that evokes a sentimental picture of something shared. Not necessarily of something grand or spectacular, but something sacred that two people can have and cherish in a space that belongs to them, and them alone.
2
Thank you! I like writing poems that feel like a conversation, even if it's sometimes only the one-sided part.
1
I really like this one. I hope you post more. The final stanza especially is so darkly romantic and compelling. And I love the way you slipped mostly in at the end of the line. It felt like a wistful pause in a drunken conversation.
2
Thank you! Comments like these make me want to post so much more, so I will. ☺️
1
I hope you do! And I hope your confidence is soaring 🌺
2
I really like the use of metaphors, painted a picture I could follow along with really well . it left me wanting more :)
2
Thank you so much!
1
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1
i like the metaphors that allude but do not describe to endless encapsulation... together entertained and yet restrained. I wonder if this is a feeling of being cursed and consigned or a more positive outlook
I don't like the idea of the curse, more of a burden or a cross to bear. A curse implies we can't do anything about it, and we were put in that situation without consent. I neither see my poem as positive or negative either. But the endless encapsulation is right, I think. I used "interminable" because I also wanted to express a subjective feeling rather than an objective curse, as you put it. I think my poem is about codependency.
I'm glad you like the metaphors, I never really like to get to the point!