I know it’s a long journey but the start has felt downhill

So just over a week into my journey with elvance (vivance USA) and I can’t say it’s been a fun ride tbh

Starting out day 1 I had high hopes as for a short window I had this motivation and drive to get things done and for about 4 hours I took advantage of that and I actually cleaned my house (go me woo)

But after that 4 hours I almost sank into all I can describe is nothing, felt pretty empty inside and my head started to fill with thoughts just like it always did.

The 4 hours of productivity I got day one never came back but instead were replaced with a void where I have zero motivation and I spent the vast majority of wed through to Friday sitting in bed scouring social media and slipping back into my bad habits like playing online slots just to feel better.

I called my mental health worker to discuss how I was feeling and she said yeah that can happen it sounds like the dose is wrong we will get you back in on Monday and adjust your dose.

So the curious soul I am I decided Saturday to take 2 tablets to see if the change of dose would have an impact. Now I realise I’m not supposed to do that but I figured what’s the harm if they are going to anyway, it will at least give me a bit of hope that things will get a bit better after Monday.

But I’m not kidding when I say I feel like nothings changed, I mean I cannot in anyway see any difference between the 2 doses. I mean admittedly on Friday I had a bit of a crisis with my disabled child and a behavioural issue that we can’t resolve until the schools re open on Monday so I guess my mental state could be effecting things.

But it’s left me feeling like I’m gonna go on Monday and get a change of dose and everything is just going to be the same.

Now I’m fully aware medication is not some magic wand that fixes everything, but I also think it shouldn’t make me feel like I’m actually stepping backwards.

So I’m wondering if this is actually the right medication for me and dreading the fact that I might have to go through a few dose changes on this with no results (or negative results in all honesty) just to reach my inevitable goal.

I think the thing that’s getting to me the most is the fact the most appealing thing to me at the min is laying in my bed and doing nothing with my day, it just seems like this is the polar opposite to what I’m trying to achieve.

Anyway pretty much just getting this off my chest as there is really no point in me asking if anyone else has been this way as one thing I’ve realised by reading this Reddit is no 2 peoples experience is the same as half the things I read here lead me to believe these drugs just make some people high lol (they certainly don’t for me, euphoria? What’s that lol)