Going Down

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I greatly appreciate the word play between "liver" as in someone living and "liver" the organ.

I encourage you to think od ways you can push it further if that interests you? you know, a liver organ that does a lot of heavy lifting and dirty work in the body. It gets put through a lot of stress but bites also an organ people take for granted. Mayne even using the imagery of the existence of being a abused little wad of meat tissue shoved I'm the bottom of the torso? Just a lot of fun to be had with that concept and the themes you're touching on with the drudgery of living.

Great piece of writing!

This is good. Well written

This was a great read! I didn’t even notice the double meaning of “liver” until another comment pointed it out. Very clever.

I took me a couple of reads to fully understand the poem which really gave it some depth. With every read I understood a little more. Might also just be the case because I’m not a native speaker, don’t know.

I found the last line to be really impressive. Great work