No, if the current world does not contain fantasy elements, then you don’t necessarily need to change that. I think our comments are reflective of your introduction, which says this is set in a fantasy world. Although, some kind of hint about “something more” being out there, and your characters noticing/reacting to that, may be a way to up the stakes and keep a reader’s interest.

It's interesting that two of you mentioned the inclusion of a fantastical creature instead of coyote. If it's ok, I'd like to run this by you.

This is the protagonist's "ordinary world." Later in the story, they are introduced to a different world where there are plenty of fantastical things. I'm not sure whether or not to leave the ordinary world how it is, which is similar to our own, or add fantastical details here and there. Right now, there is nothing fantastical about the current world the characters live in. Do you think I should change that? I don't want to dilute the contrast between the two worlds.

Thanks for sharing - this isn't half bad. As usual, please take all suggestions for what you find them to be worth. These are all simply my opinions. 

First, a note on your goals as stated in your post:

**You want the chapter to grab the reader's attention.**
Eh. Your first chapter is about more than your first line or your first paragraph, but you've got some problems with both. I agree with @zvarthav that "Damn" isn't all the effective. I basically read right over it. It feels like a throwaway line. Then, as both prior reviewers stated, you've got a super confusing sentence in your first real paragraph.  There's good content to work with, but you may try restructuring it a bit. Here's a suggestion: 

*The well was bone dry, cracks interlaced between the crumbling stone. I let my empty jug drop into the sand, too scared and exhausted to maintain my grip. 
"Damn." I'd hoped for at least a puddle pooling at the well's base. Instead, I could see all the way to the dirt and pebbles at t

GENERAL REMARKS: 

I liked it. The writing is quite good, definitely good enough for a first draft so I don’t suggest close changes would be worthwhile. 

There are some sentences I didn’t really understand:


> The pebbles and dirt returned my stare from their spot at the bottom, no water to avert their gaze.

I don’t know what this means. I think it’s pretty but doesn’t fit with the rest of the story, which is really about drought and sorrow so far. 

>It was supposed to be the wet season, but there really is no difference between “wet” and “dry” anymore.

This one seems to be meaning it’s all dry now, but instead says there’s no seasons anymore - maybe implying it’s always spring/autumn. 

One thing I do like is the occasional descriptions of clouds - it makes me think oh that’s the sort of thing characters here think about and look out for. Like their whole lives are really just holding out for rain so they casually watch clouds form and dissipate.

PLOT:  

(I’m making some sugges

If this is the start of the book, I wouldn't start with "Damn.", I'd try something more memorable as a starting line. For an example look at The Dark Towers' "The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed." That's memorable.

"The pebbles and dirt returned my stare from their spot at the bottom, no water to avert their gaze." Reads kinda weird to me, I can't imagine pebbles returning someone's stare. Then again I'm ESL so maybe it sounds better to a native speaker.

“Teresa would rather us get home before dusk than venture out to a dry river bed.” “We’re running out of water, Micah.” This is nitpicky but having these names being dropped so close to each other feels kind of artificial to me. Like, I can see the hand of the writer namedropping for the audience. I would maybe reveal Micah's name in a different place.

If it's a dystopian fantasy, then maybe have something fantastical happen in the beginning? I dunno what your world's like but instead of finding a co

I’m assuming this is somewhat aimed at teens due to the age of the characters. A short, snappy first chapter suits the teen/young adult genre, although currently I’m not sure that there’s enough going on in this. 

Here’s your plot: The characters note that it’s hard to find water. They spend the first third of the piece standing still, looking at a well. Cain suggests they go to the river but Micah instantly shuts him down. They happen to find a coyote, which Cain kills but is disappointed at the lack of meat. There’s some solid worldbuilding here, but you might want to raise the stakes in some way. The boys are disappointed at the lack of water but not desperate enough to take risks. There’s brief tension between Cain and Micah as Cain argues that they should go to the river, but this is quickly resolved and there doesn’t seem to be any residual hard feelings on either side. I guess Cain and Micah are friendly and you don’t necessarily want them to be at each other’s necks, but maybe

Thank you for sharing. Of course, please take what makes sense and disregard the feedback that doesn't sit right with you.

**OVERALL IMPRESSION**I love a dystopian novel and pairing that with fantasy is pure gold for me as a reader. While I was drawn in by your world building and the promise of the premise, the chapter felt incomplete. I wanted more, which is a good thing but if this was the end of the chapter, as a reader, I don't feel the urgency to flip the page to Chapter 2. If I were reading this on the subway (where I do much of my reading), I wouldn't be frustrated that my stop arrived when this chapter ended and I might not be motivated to come back to it. By the end of the chapter, I want to be asking more questions.  I will break down my critique into sections.

**HOOK/OPENING**

As others have mentioned, I think starting with that one word does not work - let me tell you why. I didn't even realize the chapter started with it. My eyes must have skimmed right over it and I we

I forgot to put a crit in my first post, so I'll post this again. This is chapter 1 of the dystopian fantasy novel I'm working on. 

I want this chapter to grab the reader's attention while also setting the scene/introducing the reader to the world. If anything doesn't make sense or isn't fluid enough, please tell me. 

The tone should be that of a 17 year old boy. If it doesn't fit the bill, tell me that also.

Here it is: [\[806\] The Devil's Game](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CKgc_9hy6GTMg4BaJokNNow3N64P3HmkoaeGDeZ57Ik/edit?usp=sharing)

And here is my critique of a 1010 word piece: [\[1010\] Du Vin](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/wt9sxt/comment/im145j3/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[806] The Devil's Game