r/OCPoetry•
fagotzim

The Sun

Poem

We have a hope in our delights,

All divides my sun in half;

And with dawn and dusk i feel:

The strong sense's light,

The lovely being that

Make all corners bright.

We see a twilight in our garden:

Eldritch awful little feeling;

Making pleasures fade.

But no despair, i shall no cry!

And no delight will turn me foollish,

Scorching as a fire of soul,

striking me,

my self pierced;

It came light, lividness, tenderness...

the true hapiness.

Oh Sun, be one again!

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comment 2

Posted Sep 1, 2022, 5:28 AM UTC · edited

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raazysh•

Really well written poem, I feel. I like that the entire piece had a flow to it, like a gentle winter breeze. I hope all our sun's are always whole. As for the spacing, maybe try the desktop version? That's what I use and it works out pretty well for me. It's great for editing imo.

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fagotzimOP•

Also, if someome has any advice on how to properly do spacing and stanzas here in reddit i will be thankful!!

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