I am in love with this subreddit already. I can really feel the pain and realization of whats going on. I appreciate the use of metaphors as if they were regular words, because they flowed really well together. 

It almost felt like a dance, reading them. Perfectly in sync.

I always try to leave a critique ( although I am not a professional take with a grain of salt ). I felt like the format in the beginning felt separate from the rest of the poem. I was hoping for an identical finish at the end to kind of encompass the whole poem. However the end felt like the body of the poem ( which is okay! ). I just didn't know if this was intended that way.

The flow of each line/stanza kinda works like the confusion and hectic environment of childbirth. Like a dance that goes from a waltz, to a tango, to swing, to a two step. Though I think breaking up each line is a bit jarring, perhaps that is intentional. If I were to change anything, it would be to replace the numerals with their respective words. But beyond that, this piece for me anyway, conveys heartfelt emotions of joy and sadness.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Snow