Short and poignant this poem gets to the point really well. Really provokes a feeling of betrayal and hurt such a hard topic to write about and you have written it so well.

I was going for the Pilate theme! I will tweak and make an edited post for sure! Appreciate someone whose knowledgeable on the topic of writing to give feedback!

Would you mind leaving feedback for my other poem on this forum? It's titled "Bondage". It's more of a Slam poem. The "newer writing style". I would love to hear your thoughts

In that case I would suggest the last line read " such abusive men". As you explain it and in the attitude of the poem I had a feeling what you meant, but it just didn't say it. There are a lot of poems on here that need a little editing for spelling, tense consistency, shifts in perspective or person, etc. Also, you might consider a clearer allusion in your first line where you have " dripping" to instead use " washed" this alluding to Pilate and connecting it to the reference to Christians. It's difficult to suggest corrections to poetry as it may affect the poet's vision as often as help it. I hope this helped some.

Appreciate the feedback! I did misspell a work and also it is supposed to read "proclaim to be MY neighbor. Thanks for pointing that out. In terms of carrying for 2 or 3, I mean literally carrying a fetus to full term if it wasn't for the law allowing me to have an abortion due to men who sexually abused me. I hope that clarifies that!

Given who the New Critic were, they didn't have to make a fuss about their elitist social views. Your critique divided into three main points - looking over them now, no new critic would write like that. Their exposition was typically a model of clarity.

*The next lines about carrying if it wasn't for law simply lost me . The last lines also depend on outside exposition but again unsupported by poem content. The poem is clearly strong in its attitude, and a very explanatory poem in present terms, but time takes its toll on situations and understanding.*

WTF.

I'm not trying to write a dissertation here, merely trying to point out different points. If you disagree , then state your points for clarity and discussion. And the new criticism came out of the south, but they strengthened and if they were racists , they didn't include that in his to approach new criticism evaluating of poetry. You should know that.

If you're this big New Critic dude, you should write with more clarity and precision. I don't disagree with your comments, nor do I share them entirely since I'm not sure exactly what you said. Also, I'm reminded that the New Critics were Southern agrarians and probably racist to a man, including Lowell. Tough titty all around.

Your attitude is apparent from your chose of wording , but your information is unclear. First, " poison" is misspelled and " hands dripping clean of poison" packs attitude but lacks clarity as to " clean". The second line is your " observation" but then it becomes your evaluation of their laughing without any relevancy except the title of the poem and its inference. Then the next lines go from " you" to " those"  as well as the the " come to me" but then followed with " proclaim to your neighbor". I'm not sure if you would want to keep it personal or if you want it as an overall description, but that being said, that sentence has no clarity again outside of outside knowledge and The title of the poem.The next lines about carrying if it wasn't for law simply lost me . The last lines also depend on outside exposition but again unsupported by poem content. The poem is clearly strong in its attitude, and a very explanatory poem in present terms, but time takes its toll on situations and un

Your job. And my day rates are $100 an hour. Poison is too strident; abusive isn't strong enough. Admittedly, I didn't get sexual assault from the text (bad dog!). I can tell you that much for free.

that took me out of slavery  
from abusive men.

In the poem, abusive is controlled by slavery. You don't get to claim intentions in a poem; you're judged by what sticks to the wall.

Any suggestions to replace abusive that will get the point across as being victim to sexual assault ? Thanks for the feedback!

Poison and abusive both seem slightly off; better words might seal the deal.


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Roe and Wade