Smile (a poem depicting mental health struggles)

I forgot what it feels like to smile in bed

Unable to cope with the unrelenting dread

I struggle to move my legs, they feel so heavy

But I keep telling myself "it's time to get ready"

I can't move, I feel frozen in time

This self loathing and misery just feels too sublime

An endless cycle of frowns and cries

Glossy eyes watching as the time quickly goes by

Tic tock, blaring screams

This sound is unwelcoming, destroying my dreams

Inside the dreams are puppies, flowers, kitties, and bees

They dance around my crown in a cloud of trees

The branches grow out of my thoughts onto my head

But I still can't remember what it feels like to smile in bed

I used to do it, it wasn't very hard

Memories are fragmented into tiny, obscure shards

I think I was happy, when did it end?

I swear I wasn't like this, I promise I made amends

The noise is still blasting this god awful tune

Through misty eyes and a dry mouth I say "I need to get ready soon"

I force myself up out of this box spring coffin

I really wish I didn't have to do it so often

I used to be so happy when I opened my eyes

It's faded away now into a puzzle of lies

Whenever I walk, baby steps crush the pieces

Before I knew it I ran out of lives and leases

I think I'll just stay here in the comfort of my mind

And hope for the day that I can push a button to rewind

I love living in the land full of puppies, flowers, kitties, and bees

I love flying in the clouds and dancing around the trees

I love breaking apart into a thousands pieces

And continuing to sign my life away on lies and leases

Oh that's right, I've run out of them haven't I

But I have too much work to do before I die

So I guess I'll just stay here living in my head

And try and pretend what it felt like to smile in bed

Reference 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x9ajzt/getting_better/innirsi?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

Reference 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x9858e/the_dog/innjwfo?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3