When the game was over?

Poem

When the game was over?

Nobody told me,

We were playing hide and seek,

"Our hiding spot is safe"

Silence whispered in the dark

fueling endless bubbles of thoughts

we've been fooled

We've been catched in a bubble

And it keeps circling

like a lost planet

in its comfort zone orbit

Time was watching

Time is watching

All the way along

.... 1 https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/xa2d9k/always/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

.. 2

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/x9y7ki/news_today_new_todays/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Posted Sep 9, 2022, 8:27 PM UTC

33
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1
SerenSkies•

I'm going to give my thoughts as I read. My interpretation could be completely wrong. I do this because I think sometimes writers like to see what people think/how their words are interpreted.

​

When the game was over?

Nobody told me,

// What game were they playing? I wonder why nobody told them that the game was over. I remember playing cops and robbers. The people last in sometimes were forgotten or people just gave up trying to catch them. Sometimes areas are big in the location so people may just give up on finding the rest/or singular person.

​

// Another game that comes to mind is hide and seek. I remember being tiny so I could hide into places very easily. I don't think I was ever forgotten but I can see how it would be lonely. Being forgotten sucks.

// This could also not be a literal game but possibly figurative? When I think games... sometimes I think of school activities or life activities. People can be surrounding but leave you out of the fun or inclusion. You feel alone and nobody tells you when they started or when they ended.

​

We were playing hide and seek,

"Our hiding spot is safe"

// I'm wondering if this could be a literal hide and seek game. Maybe this is an actual event.

// This could also be figurative and literal. I know sometimes abuse cases or trauma cases could have areas in this. A horror/documentary (based-on true events of sorts or inspired by) of sorts I watched before titled "Room". The poem part reminds me of this a bit. A "Child Called It" also had elements but was more of imagining an escape of sorts to cope.

Silence whispered in the dark

fueling endless bubbles of thoughts

// So, what I get here is that a person/persons are lonely. They are forgotten. The silence could potentially be anxiety or the thoughts in the mind potentially.

// The game could still be literal and maybe the person(s) could be alone in the dark with negative thoughts cropping up.

we've been fooled

We've been catched in a bubble

// A fooled here leads me to think more figurative. So, something in life has tricked person(s) where they thought they were "playing" included but in this case they were found but not in the way found would want to be implied.

And it keeps circling

like a lost planet

// The found is still "dark" but it is lost. I think of Pluto in this instance. People fought over whether Pluto is a planet or not. Pluto ended up getting downgraded to a Dwarf Planet. But Pluto was still excluded but word would not arrive. Pluto circled in a bubble of darkness feeling further than the areas.

in its comfort zone orbit

Time was watching

Time is watching

All the way along

​

// Like Pluto, people study it and observe it. Time continues and it's search watches. Maybe the time could be figurative like how people are "alone" but the only thing ever there is that time element.

​

// Nice work!

1
ramy2019•

I like the line "fueling endless bubbles of thoughts" it feels like a creative line, basically you are giving a shape to a thought, in this case a bubble, so you are letting the reader visualize the otherwise shapeless thoughts. I think this was the strongest part of the poem. I would suggest elaborating on this theme, what else can you think of to describe these thoughts in a way that lets the reader visualize them better. Other than that, it is a decent poem

1