Am I (F36) right to be upset at my boyfriend (M38)?

TL:DR after a few rough months at work, my boyfriend couldn’t come see me for my birthday and it has exacerbated my feelings of anxiety and depression.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 and a half years. We don’t live together yet, as we both have children from previous relationships and we didn’t want to rush it (my kids M16, F12, his kids F12 and M9) and we live roughly 2 hours apart. We normally rotate weekends when we can see each other, him here on his weekends off from the kids, and me and my kids to his place when he does have his kids there. Obviously things get in the way some weekends, like special events etc, which we work around.

However, as I have my kids full time, and he only 50/50, his time is more “precious” with his kids and so most of the time, it is my kids and me who are travelling more when his kids have something on, which the majority of the time doesn’t worry me, as his kids are involved in a lot more activities than mine. Think sport on weekends etc.

I am currently in the middle of a dispute at work, which has the relative authorities involved, but it has taken its toll on me mentally. I still work there because quitting is not an option, so the tension at work as well as the stress of it all has been getting to me and I have started to regress into old feeling of anxiety and depression. This past Thursday was my birthday. He told me weeks ago that his daughter had an event on Saturday morning, but that he would come to see me to help celebrate and stay Saturday night with me after the event. So I made plans with friends the Friday night, so that Saturday night was free and I had something to do for my birthday.

A couple days before my birthday he found out that the event wouldn’t finish until 2:30pm, which would mean realistically he couldn’t get to my town until 5:30-6. Add to that, he got a notice that he has a rental inspection coming up and needed to get cleaning on the Sunday. I said that was fine, it was a big ask for the 3 of them to be at an event all day and then drive up, only to have to leave before lunch on Sunday. I was disappointed, but wasn’t going to stop him from taking his daughter to the event.

Come Saturday, turns out the event finished, or they left, at around 11:30. They went to visit his sister an hour away instead. When I asked about it, I was never considered. Next weekend he is however going to celebrate a friends birthday 2 hours away, so next weekend is a bust too.

Now, adding to how I’ve been feeling these past two weeks, it has 100% deflated me. We did discuss it, but I feel as though he just didn’t get how sad I was about it all. I wasn’t sad that he wasn’t here, more so the fact that I wasn’t considered when the opportunity to actually see me presented itself. On my birthday (weekend) when I just wanted to see him and try and feel good after the months that I’ve had at work.

Normally he has been an amazing boyfriend, and I love him very much. We plan to move down at the end of the year when my son finished year 10. I have made it clear to him how this situation has made me feel, but like I said, I don’t think he thinks it’s that big a deal. I do believe him when he said that he doesn’t think these things through, like I would, and he admits he needs to work on his consideration.

I just feel like crap and knowing I have to go to work tomorrow and face another week of that without any relief over the weekend is making it worse too. Am I right to be upset at him though? I’ll be talking to him tonight and just maybe some advice to articulate my feeling a bit more would help.