You’re right!! I wanted to add a stanza after that to explain it too but couldn’t find the words, hopefully I can and I’ll definitely add to it. Thank you so much for not just reading but the kind words and advice!

The last stanza and last line are beautiful. I think the narrative flows quite well also.

However, my favorite part is the title. We are falling throughout the poem, yet we still get the feeling of rising.

The only thing I would consider improving is the middle stanza ("The past my prison..."). I think it would be interesting to consider how you were able to escape. Was it difficult? How did it feel? Maybe you could reference escaping from some confined state into "the open sky" or something similar.

Just a thought - overall, great job!

Thank you for reading and your kind words!!

love the rhyme scheme, the last line of every stanza really adds together to give a really great sense of flow! The positive connotations of the last lines in stanza 3 and 4 are amazing for giving a sense of rising back up.


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Someone hurt you, and the fact that you are able to use this art form to wrestle with it and come to terms… that’s beautiful in itself. “The past is my prison” damn that line was powerful for me.

I like how the structure of the poem is actually a function of falling down the lines and I also like the 3 line style. For me it added extra elements of immersion and it kept my attention through the poem. The last line was also very emotional for me and I really felt what you were sharing so thank you

Rise