what am i?

Poem

am i more like a

moth or butterfly?

-

am i drawn to the flame

of endless hate and suffering?

where misery will light the path and

explode in my face when

eventually i will

be snuffed out and put to rest.

-

or will i rise to the occasion in

extravagant color and

hatch from a chrysalis into the

beautiful creature i am?

-

i can’t tell.

​

1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wuiqse/comment/ilah87v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/whceov/comment/ij50onz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Posted Sep 12, 2022, 4:17 PM UTC · edited

1413
wralin_90•

I like the duality you're capturing here, and I think moth/butterfly is an excellent way to put it. I often go between the two myself whenever I'm depressed and I think you speak well to both the doubt and hope of improvement. I think the second stanza could be cleaned up a bit more. I'd say to keep the first two lines and maybe rephrase the last ones to something like this:

"am i drawn to the flame

of endless hate and suffering?

will misery light my path

only to explode in my face

and snuff me out again?"

​

I'm not sure, but I definitely think you should play around with it some. Other than that, good work!

2
_astrophileOP•

this helps! thank you so much!!

2
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1
Sometimes_Rainbows•

I love the imagery and wording you've used. The poem painted a little picture in my head and filled me with a mixture of hope and sorrow.

Amazing work

1
_astrophileOP•

thank you! <3

1
Inevitable_Jex•

Your formatting and conscious questioning is something i also do and am still stunned when someone else does it!

Your individualism is poetically expressed

1
_astrophileOP•

thank you so much. this means a lot!!

2
Moonagali_V2•

Moths and butterflies are so similar but yet so different. It is like we are all both creatures: attracted to the things that will bring us down and also always rebuilding ourselves to something new.

​

I like this. 10/10.

1
_astrophileOP•

agreed! thank you!

1
[deleted]•

Catharsis. A transformation either way isn't it? Neat.

1
_astrophileOP•

such a lovely word

2
realismsss•

wow this is beautiful. im speechless

1
_astrophileOP•

thank you so much!

1