what am i?
am i more like a
moth or butterfly?
-
am i drawn to the flame
of endless hate and suffering?
where misery will light the path and
explode in my face when
eventually i will
be snuffed out and put to rest.
-
or will i rise to the occasion in
extravagant color and
hatch from a chrysalis into the
beautiful creature i am?
-
i can’t tell.
Posted Sep 12, 2022, 4:17 PM UTC · edited
I like the duality you're capturing here, and I think moth/butterfly is an excellent way to put it. I often go between the two myself whenever I'm depressed and I think you speak well to both the doubt and hope of improvement. I think the second stanza could be cleaned up a bit more. I'd say to keep the first two lines and maybe rephrase the last ones to something like this:
"am i drawn to the flame
of endless hate and suffering?
will misery light my path
only to explode in my face
and snuff me out again?"
I'm not sure, but I definitely think you should play around with it some. Other than that, good work!
this helps! thank you so much!!