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I like it. I instantly thought of my childhood when I read it. It is hard to accept that life will never be as simple as it once was. Our dreams can cause us intense suffering. When your dreams or expectations are shattered so are the dreams of the child inside us. Expectations lead to suffering.

I love how this poem begins! The first few lines are so vivid. It places the reader into a space I couldn’t describe but can imagine and feel through your words. I don’t know who I am to say this, but I think that is exactly what poetry should do: to seek to describe the indescribable. 

I don’t know if you know the filmmaker, Jean Luc Godard, but he is on my mind since he died today. The poem reminds me of his early films. It is hip and cool and reminds me of the playfulness of the female characters from his early films. The poem feels vibrant and colorful like his color films from the mid 60s. 

I don’t like to suggest words but for some reason the phrase burn orange ones, sounded out of place to me.  Really just the word ‘burn.’ I thought maybe you meant burnt. If not, it is so minor. 

I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh, but also I thought the lines “but I wish still drank apple juice// instead of shooting vodka,” felt awkward. I think I understand that it was intended to contrast

Clouded Nostalgia 

My title suggestion^^^
Just because we tend to remember days we miss with a certain filter. Like we forget the frustration of the little things that built up to make us long to reach an independent age.

A little poem snippet I wrote. Don’t know how I feel about it yet. Also need help w a title 🫣🫣